I live at the library and I believe this is true for most seniors.  Going to the library is a social event and a place where you can get a friendly hello from the staff.   It’s almost like Cheers without the alcohol.

Within the last year the library received a new Director.  I know this as I read all her emails.   She is quite insightful and I was proud of my library especially when I learned through her emails how much they did for folks during Hurricane Matthew.

As I scanned the library class board I noticed there was a new event the Director had developed.  It was a competition to see which library had the most attendance.  The library could get credit if there was participation in a library program, if a program evaluation was turned in, if you volunteered at the library, or if you introduced yourself to a library staff member.  There would be a grand prize drawing and while there was no limit on submissions only one form per activity was allowed.

After reading this I was curious how serious this event was being taken.  In my years in management I realized there is often a disconnect between the worker bees and those in charge.  However, my local library staff was taking this quite seriously and I now know the last names of all staffers, have joined the volunteer group and my calendar is filled with dates for program events.  I’ll keep you posted on who wins.

My favorite Canadian is Miranda Esmonde White.  She is an exercise guru who espouses stretch for the body and it works.  Every morning I wake to this 60 something former Canadian National Ballet Company ballerina in a blonde piggy tail and we work out together for 22 minutes.  Her exercises have brought me back from the tomb and for this I am grateful.

Today I did Pain Prevention, number 926.  She is in Cozumel, Mexico and while I wasn’t there for this particular episode I was there with her this past December.  I met Amanda and found her to be a delight. She made her way around the room of 300 and even stopped to align me for 90 seconds trying to get me to relax.  I wanted to tell her this was impossible but knew she’d give it the college try so I let her.

As I begin my workout we are doing floor exercises. This is my least favorite place to exercise from however my knee has been talking to me this morning so perhaps its best I don’t stand. Frozen Shoulder no. 930 is my favorite.  That may be my favorite because of the scenery or rather because she says you burn more calories.  I believe it’s the latter.

Sitting up straight I bend my knee and wrap my hand around it then extend my knee to the floor for a wide stretch.  We stay in this position for a period of time and as we do I wonder if this would be good for improving sex.  I now hear all men reading this pausing as they are finding the Classical Stretch website and ordering her series for their girlfriend.

Back to Amanda, we have stretched, rowed the boat, and now are coming to a close with a lovely neck stretch.  She bids adieu with I hope you had a good stretch and I’ll see you tomorrow and that she will.

For months I waited for my new neighbor to arrive in the condo next door.  Since it was vacant I envisioned a lovely older couple with a wife I could befriend and a husband who could give me computer advice.  I maintained their garden and removed all the stuff the former renters had left there.

As I waited for my new neighbor my upstairs neighbor became unhappy with me.  Bella, who I tried to befriend would bark whenever her master was out.  I learned she was the terror of the neighborhood.  Bella barked whenever I entered my garden so prior to entry I began to check the parking lot for her master’s car in the hopes she could quiet her.

During these episodes I began to get a faint ringing in my ears, but ignored it. Then when my new neighbor Chip arrived the ringing went on full blast as he began a 4-day concert of high pitched barking. From this I now have ear ringing on frequent to infrequent intervals. My ENT has given me “tips” to handle it however it is the lifetime companion I have never wanted.

I avoid these dogs and the neighbors associated with them at all costs. Yesterday the Mormons arrived and I was quite rude to them. I knew why as when they began to knock on my neighbor’s door my lifetime companion was activated once again.

I lied.  I exercise every day but on Thursday I do Classical Stretch (Essentrics), yoga and belly-dancing.  It gets the juices going, brings up the serotonin levels and I love it.

The researchers and I are in sync believing that exercise is key to mental health.  As I write this I can hear the moaning, (that is if anyone reads this).  But, exercise is fun and if it’s not fun try something else.

Remember the Presidential Council on Fitness as a kid?  I excelled in sit ups and to this day I  have a flat tummy and am proud of my flat tummy.  I think we all need to be proud of ourselves but for me it’s not about competition, it’s internal.

We need to reward ourselves and say good job to our bodies. Forty years ago it used to be a hot fudge sundae after exercise, but that has changed.  While I admit to an occasional visit to McDonald’s for their 250-calorie variety, it has become more.  Now, the reward has become a pat on the back, an appreciation of nature and thanking the universe that the body can still keep functioning and pain free.

Got to go, I’m off to belly dancing.

I am on a tour and the guide is calling all of us guys. I hate being called a guy. After 45 years of the monthly saga, a horrific childbirth of 23 hours, and years of hot flashes I want to be honored as a woman and called a gal. For me it’s a matter of respect. We birthed you.

While I understand this will probably never happen I am seeking a gender-neutral term. So here it goes:

Ginys-sounds funny, Guyas-too guyish, Gays-not neutral , Geys-not neutral,

Guyo-another too guyish , Goya – too much like the Mexican food company,

Goys – too close to boys, Giyo-perhaps a new car name, Giya-too gutteral,

Grays-getting closer, Gruys-sounds derogatory, Grims- too close to fairy tales,

Ghous- ghost like, Glies- jokeish, Glus -glue like, Glose- too much like close.

I guess I’ve exhausted the “G’s.” Maybe we should just use folks or everyone. Let me know your thoughts. We are a democracy, maybe we can vote on it and I have no Electoral College in my rules.

I am a swayer.  I don’t know when this exactly happened but I think it may have begun when I was a nurse working long hours standing on cement hospital floors.  I read somewhere that if you moved side to side it prevented varicose veins and at 61 the gams are in pretty good shape.

Swaying continued through the years when my daughter, was a baby.  She was one of those infants who never slept through the night so when she rang at 2, 3 or 4 am I would pick her up and sway.  Often times this swaying stopped the crying and I was able to maintain my living situation as who wants to live in the apartment above, below or next to someone with a bellowing child.

Nowadays, pediatricians recommend that screaming babies should be allowed to scream it out.  It increases lung function and their ability to self soothe. I’m told it only takes a couple nights for this change in behavior to occur.

Maybe that is what swaying is, the ability to self soothe.  I tend to sway a great deal when I am in church especially when the passages are read about the atrocities of the saints or other Earth-shaking events in the past.

I wonder what the folks sitting near me think of me when I sway as it has become an automatic movement. They probably think I am listening to a rock and roll song and not listening to Father Tom but that’s not the case.  Swaying helps me concentrate and I’ve read that swayers or fidgeters lose an extra of 10 pounds of weight per year from this activity.  Therefore, I will continue to sway.

I now own a green carpet in my blue office. It arrived through an on-line purchase. This was my initial order however the company sent me something else and being unaware of their error I bought another. I went to the re-order screen clicked and awaited my arrival. However, the second arrival was different from the first.

When I called customer service I was unable to return this new member of my carpet family because it was sold out. I had two carpets that did not match. The customer service gal suggested I find another room to put it in so it is now in my blue office. I think of it as grass.

In order to locate the matching carpet I checked 32 screens with 68 selections per screen. While the needed size was no longer available I decided I could live with a smaller version and since there were only 3 left the price was right. As I investigated further I realized the first carpet I received was double the size and $199. I paid $79. so, the other 2 are almost free. I can get used to the grass.

Ladies rooms are notorious for long lines. Men have it made when it comes to this. I recall when Mayor Bloomberg passed an ordinance increasing the number of ladies’ toilets in new buildings in the City. Thanks, Mike. Hope you are well.

I’m encountering this problem again. I ask the 10 ladies ahead of me about the open stall and they say no paper. It’s at these times I am thankful for the valuable lessons of motherhood – always carry tissue and napkins. I use the stall and quickly exit knowing if looks could kill I would be dead now.

This rule extends to the car glove compartment however once I forgot to re-stock and unfortunately my daughter had spilled something on her. Upon noting the compartment empty, she moaned, “Where are the napkins?” I jauntily replied, “You are 30 now.”