A Day Without Trump is a Day With Sunshine

As I travel through Thailand I see many billboard pictures of the king and his family. He’s not smiling in the land of smiles and I wish he was. He’s quite handsome and would look even better if he smiled. Someone should let him know. Perhaps he’ll read this post. Ha! Ha!

I digress.. Americans we see our president quite frequently, he’s ubitquious. Of course, that goes with the territory as he was and sadly remains a sort of fake news/reality TV star even though he is the leader of the free world. Maybe someone should tell him that.

It would be easier dealing with him if he was still a TV star. In that way we’d only have to see him once a week because quite frankly I get sick of looking at him.

I’d like a day where he’s totally blocked from the news or better yet one day a week. I think that’s only fair as Americans and the whole world is sick of him and the craziness from his tweets.

This is something that needs to be said and hope you get a laugh from it. If you like what’s said it’s Kathleen and if you don’t it’s still Kathleen.

Designer Sunglasses

I found a pair of designer sunglasses in an airport about a year ago. When I went to return them the gal at the desk sighed telling me if you like them, keep them. Apparently no one ever comes back or calls for these items. So, I kept them.

While these sunglasses were large, black, sexy and had movie star quality I was enamored with my Dollar Tree pinkies so I stashed the sexy ones in a drawer. When Flamingo (the pink sunglasses) got too scratched I decided to bid her adieu and began to use the sexy ones.

As I wore them I noticed they did not act as Flamingo had. While they were sexy and heads turned when I wore them, they fogged every time I donned them. I now know why my sexy designer sunglasses were left in the airport. They came without windshield wipers.

See You at Two

 

Texting is new to me.  My doctor’s office texted me today.  I was so proud of myself when they confirmed back as I am not tech savvy.

For those of us caught in the technology flurry and don’t have a seven-year-old child or grandchild we are in trouble.  At times, I find myself asking people on the street for assistance with the phone.  I wonder if what they actually tell me is true but am at their mercy and do it anyway.  Will there come a time when I will no longer be able to make a call or much worse pay a bill?  I struggle with this.

Later in the day I see I have received another text.  This is the first time I have received texts from two separate entities.  I am excited texting back after I receive the “How are you?” inquiry.  I proceed to say doing better I’m starting to blog.  I hear a ping but see nothing but the entities phone number above my first text so I continue to text how I am and what I am now doing.

I have done 5 entries with no response; however, I continue to hear the ping.  I know someone is on the other end but unsure why I cannot see what they have written.  As I look at the top of the screen I realize I have been texting my doctor’s office.  I can’t imagine the chatter that is occurring as they read my texts.  See you at two.

Whatever Happened to Wallpaper?

The other day I walked into my kitchen bemoaning its beige walls and a thought popped into my head- wallpaper!  For those who grew up in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s every kitchen had this perky little item on their kitchen walls.  And to educate those unaware wallpaper would come with fruits, vegetables, coffee pots, and spices on it.

This was not a new revelation for me as ten years ago I had the itch to wallpaper again but when I went to the hardware stores I was literally laughed out of the place.  A man in his fifties, usually about 100 pounds overweight would look me in the eye like I was insane saying, “Lady, that went out with the horse and buggy.”  Since then I am grateful these stores have sensitized men to our female needs and recently while shopping in one of these stores a female employee responded to my wallpaper query, “Amazon.”

So, to Amazon I went.  While Amazon is putting main stream shopping out of business I delight in having door to door service.  To hear the wrap on the door and discover it is the USPS worker makes my heart sing.  Someone has saved me from lugging heavy over-sized boxes and other back breaking items into a cart, to the car and up flights of stairs.  I need to write Jeff Bezos a thank you note.

While Amazon did not have a selection of wallpaper I was referred to Steve’s whose selection included a cache of wallpaper for $4.95 a single roll.  Even though I fell for the $12.95 roll economics told me this was the route to go and I could live without flowers. The order form was bliss and the site’s FAQs gave installation tips. I was in wallpaper heaven.

My valued rolls arrived in 3 days and I spent the next sixteen hours merrily measuring and applying water to my pre-pasted wallpaper strips.  I eagerly matched the fruits of the strips to perfection and my heart soared.  The kitchen had become a work of art.

To my dismay twelve hours into the project I realized I had not ordered enough magical paper.  Frantic I went to the site and luckily found my selection was a guarantee re-order.  New rolls arrived shortly and when the rolls arrived and task completed I gazed in amazement at what I accomplished.

Wanting to put my signature even further on my work I art I merrily cut apples, oranges, strawberries, and pears from the left-over paper adding to the design. Since completing this work of art I have never walked into my kitchen again without a smile. Perhaps now I may even cook or better yet wallpaper professionally.

 

Pinky is Lost!

 

For those who don’t know it Pinky is my cellphone.  I believe all items should be named.  Well, I lost her a few hours ago but now she is found.  I call her she as her temperament can sometimes be reflective of a woman in the wrong time of the month and today it seems to be that time.

Since I had checked in the couch I decided to move to the car thinking I had dropped her there.  While checking a neighbor came by and called her several times.  Since there was silence in the car we moved to the house calling again and voila she began to chirp.  Low and behold she was hidden in the upper cushions of the couch.  Now, how did she ever get there?

While Pinky and I don’t always see eye to eye I was grateful for her return as she has become a friend, confidant and sometimes savior. Perhaps through this loss and subsequent find there will be a healing in our relationship.  I have committed myself to learn more about her and who knows maybe I’ll even come to understand her APs, noises and odd signs.  Isn’t that what every relationship is about?

Getting a Will Done

 

Today I went and updated my will.  I have been doing these myself for the last 30 years, but today I officially paid the $495 and went to a real lawyer.  He was a delightful young man in his late 20’s, pleasant, well-groomed and handsome.  I have to return in two weeks for signing but to tell the truth I’m looking forward to this as it was rather painless and will give me another event for my senior calendar.

The legal aid attorney had been giving classes at the local library for the last few months.  I’ve learned interesting things such as senior scams, paying for a nursing home, health care proxies and finally wills.  She was quite humorous and forthright in her presentation so I marked my calendar to get this done!

I was concerned if this was the right timing as paying for the will is a chunk of change however once again Father Tim came through.  In his sermon today discussing Sara, Abraham’s wife who died at 127 he mentioned the need to plan so our descendants are covered.  I took this as a sign I did the right thing.

Since I travel extensively no one knows when the time will come.  I was in Brussels Airport as they were arresting the Paris terrorists, in the Holy lands when a West Point graduate was murdered and on a plane in Portugal when a woman went psychotic.

When the woman began running up and down the plane aisle attempting to open the airline door my traveling companion woke me.  As a psych nurse, she thought maybe I could do something. After some coaxing she calmed and for the remaining 45 minutes of the flight I sat next to her.

Since the woman was African she spoke a language no one on the plane knew but my gentle smile seemed to calm her 250 pounds plus frame.  While the stewardess thanked me, and said I would get a note from the airlines as well nothing arrived from Portugal Air except all of us safely.

Moral of the story as always Father Tim is right and my affairs are now in order. After reading my blog I hope you do the same. And if you are in need of a cute, pleasant lawyer in St. Augustine just shoot me an email.

I’m Not After Your Husband

I speak to everyone I see and for those who live alone you are chuckling because you do the same.  I frequently find myself forced to talk to men which in some ways I disdain but they approach me.

For example, when speaking to the peanut butter jar at Publix a man came behind me and answered my question regarding the sugar content of the peanut butter. We had an amusing discussion and by the end of the conversation he gave me the idea to make my own peanut butter which I now do.

The beauty of our short chat was he didn’t mention his wife 3 seconds into the conversation. The conversation could have been, too much sugar is in peanut I believe that as well. Then, I’m married 36 years to my childhood sweetheart and we have two phenomenal children one is a rocket scientist and the other curing cancer.

Indubitably, this is how the conversation usually occurs.  Having only discussed peanut butter filled me with joy as I didn’t want to hear about his wife and I am not interested in you beyond peanut butter.  I merely want to talk to someone briefly and move on.

It becomes even worse when the duo is together. When this arises I only look and talk to the wife.  I have learned my lesson while traveling as the single supplement chick.  Guess I am thought of as jail bait.

In one of my trips the man told me he had worked in the same town where I formerly lived. While I tried to engage the wife in the conversation she pretended to read a pamphlet.  Later I realized she was probably fuming as for the remainder of the trip she gave me daggers. It was ugly each time the man came in my general area so I quickly moved or excused myself to keep a 50-yard distance.

So, what can you learn from this? When the male counterpart of the couple talks feign laryngitis, or speak of your non-existent husband and always wear a wedding ring on the trip.

Ice Cream from India

One of my favorite trips was India.  While it was interesting to see it’s forts, castles and the Taj, the trip was all about the people, those being the folks on the tour.

There were couples married 40 years, moms and daughters, gals who had been girlfriends since birth and a few of us single supplement folks.  Everyone had different careers one was a doctor, another a high-powered lawyer, one a business woman, one student and even a self-proclaimed Jewish princess.

The weather was hot but the tour guide was a cute, young, single man who made Mughal history interesting. He had just broken up with his longtime girlfriend and of course all us women mothered him.

Driving through the horrific streets seeing the masses and extreme poverty was challenging to see but somehow as a group we knew we’d make it together. Silly jokes started to begin with ensuing laughter and I became enamored with Indian ice cream.  This is a delicious mix of high fat milk from some sort of oxen.

At each luncheon stop rather than getting food I got the ice cream.  While my fellow travelers ate curry, I feasted on whatever variety ice cream the restaurant offered.  It became a joke and as the waiter asked what I wanted invariably someone would scream out, “She gets the ice cream,” and we’d all laugh.

The ride to the Delhi airport was a 6-hour horror with all the restaurants which we could safely eat at either closed or unavailable. Our final hope for food was lost when the restaurant had a chunk of marble fall at its entrance. Since the bus couldn’t fly over the marble we were doomed.

Laughter continued through this fiasco and as it did our favorite self-proclaimed Jewish princess discovered an additional carry-on filled with chips and the like.  Tossing each of us a bag we merrily crunched our way to the Delhi Airport.

Belly Dancing Finance

The ghost of Henry Flagler made his appearance in my Belly Dancing class. I’m sure he is not pleased with us gals wiggling our hips in his beautiful room that he probably used to make big deals in with the upper crust. If the tiffany windows could only speak.

I know Henry was playing with us as I have taken many classes with Bev and her music system has never failed. After many minds worked on the system we were able to continue and complete the class.

Upon leaving the class I chatted up several of the female Flagler students. They were intrigued that an old babe like me was belly dancing. I told them how we joked in class of Henry’s ghost causing the music problem and they laughed. Apparently, incidents like this occur all the time. These gals have even called up spirits via the Ouija Board.

As we parted I told them the next time they do this give me a jingle. I could use some tips on the market.

The Sexy Shopper

While at Dollar Tree I met a lovely young woman to chat with.  We shared the same ideals of saving money and even purchased similar items.  I was in sync with a millennium.  She was gorgeous, stick thin in what we formerly called hot pants and adorned with the gams of Betty Grable.  For those millenniums who don’t know Betty Grable try google with her name or the term pin-up girl.  (Finally, something a millennium doesn’t know!)

While shopping I also encountered an older male shopper.  He was of the curmudgeon type.  In my attempt to acknowledge him I offered my chirpy Florida hello and in response received a grunt.  Rather than being dismayed at the grunt I shrugged it off to not enough sun.  Perhaps he too is Vitamin D deficient?

At the checkout, I noticed the curmudgeon was checking out in front of the gorgeous millennium.  He was chatting her up, as they say in England and I was okay with this.  Since I was behind her she turned and smiled acknowledging me and we shared a few words.  Once our check out was completed simultaneously we all appeared at the exit.  The curmudgeon opened the door for the millennium and as he did let the door shut in my face.

This man was obviously not a southern gentleman.