Trac Fone


In 2007, I discovered Trac Fone.  For those unfamiliar, these are the throw away gems that police shows talk endlessly about as criminals use them in their nefarious deeds.

Actually, I found them in a much less criminal way.  I was in the Dollar General of Oneonta, New York and a 70ish man was using the offender.   In my curiosity, he began to espouse the wonders of the small 1 ½ by 3-inch device and I was hooked.  He even explained how to install it giving me the pros and cons and do’s and don’ts.  I was in love.

I promptly purchased one for the enormous sum of $20 and began my installation. While it didn’t go with ease as he explained, since I am not tech savvy, it was up and running after several hours.

Elated that I had entered the 21st century my Trac Fone went with me wherever I went.  When I had problems, I called the Indian staff at Trac Fone and always got great personal service.  The times I lost the phone or dropped it in a puddle I merrily ran to Walgreen’s, CVS or Walmart’s to purchase another and transfer the number.

Then came the advancement of technology and I was told by a millennium to purchase an Android.  The Android is nice and has many services but after 2 years I still am unsure how to answer it and frequently call people when actually I haven’t.

When I ask millenniums, they take the device fix it and return it to me but they have went so fast I simply don’t know what they’ve done. I also have taken library classes but quite frankly sometimes no one knows how to fix my concerns.

Since Dylan, my 19-year-old Microsoft Certified guru moved to San Antonia I have been up the creek. While Dylan shook his head at times he enjoyed the challenge and always came up with an answer.  Bill Gates needs to hire him and have him marry into the family.  I believe Bill Gates has daughter his age. Dylan is an amazing young man and when I meet Warren Buffet I’ll give him Dylan’s business card.

I am with the cell phone carrier voted #1 by Money Magazine.  They have a site where fellow Android owners help you and FAQs, (frequently asked questions), but to this day I haven’t found their phone number.

So, I remain with two phones. My trusty Trac Fone remains number one and while I lack three phones the Android has become the middle child. I send love messages to the Android in an attempt to keep it happy but deep in its computer chip mind I’m sure he or she knows he’s not the most loved.  Oh, the middle child syndrome.

Broken Chair

I enjoy going to the condo club house and using their Wi-Fi. At first it was because I saved $79.95 a month but then I realized it had become another daily senior event.

When I walk to the club house I always see Jimmy on my way and get a hello. Then upon arrival at my “office” as Sam has nicknamed it, I open my computer on the community condo desk and get to work. While it is a community office I like to think of it as my own.

I particularly like my office as I have a nearby bathroom, good lighting and of course the desk. But the thing I liked best was my office chair. It was a black leather, high back executive office chair and today I broke it. As I turned to pick up a paper I found myself on the floor. The metal shaft of the chairs seat had split in half. Sam replaced it with a metal folding chair but my office is no longer the same.

I feel great remorse in this loss and now have moved to the condo couch, a much more comfortable spot but as I look at my desk I long to sit there. I am concerned that my event will be an agenda item for the next condo meeting. I hope by then I’ve lost those last 15 pounds.

I Miss Joan Rivers

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Over the holidays heard the last interview PBS did with Joan Rivers. She was her usual funny and direct self, pulling no punches. I miss her humor, and honesty. Don’t you? I recall when I saw her several years ago in a New York City venue, all in the room were fare game and boy did she have energy.

We need to find another older gal who doesn’t give a sh-t and calls it like it is.

Any takers?

Extra Vegetables


In my quest to increase my vegetable consumption I have discovered vegetable meatballs. It came quite by accident as I tired of looking at the veggie burgers in my freezer. It’s not that I don’t like veggie burgers rather there was a good sale and I purchased way too many of them and needed a new creation for my palate.

I defrosted the veggie burgers threw in an egg and combined them into little balls. After tossing them into a crock pot filled with pasta sauce, {or as the Bronx Italians call it – “gravy”’}, they were sublime.  I placed this delicious fare over a bowl full of angel pasta.

Perhaps the angels work enhanced this fare? Regardless, give it a try and see what your little cherubs think of it. Maybe it will even bring them back to the faith.

Bumper Sticker Laugh

While I attempt to stay non-political, and believe me it’s hard, every so often I depart from this policy.  After seeing this bumper sticker I  feel compelled to share it.

You elect a clown, you get a circus

It’s a crazy world we live in and we need a break before we have a break- a mental one.  All this twitter stuff is affecting everyone’s mental health and while the only way to silence a bully is to ignore them, we need to keep tabs on the news as we need to know what He’s doing.

But, perhaps we could have Twitter close his account one day a week?  I know many share my sentiments.  Anyone who feels the same let me know.  Perhaps we can start a campaign – a good one.  America has always been great and we deserve some calm and peace in our government and who knows maybe this would restore some civility?

Frogs on The Doorstep

Since I moved to my new first floor condo I have become acquainted with frogs. They are everywhere around this community and I enjoy watching them. The babies are very small so I am careful where I walk as I want to stay on good terms with them.

At night they are out in droves and when I walk from the condo club house they are sprinkled over the concrete sidewalk. Often as I get to my door they appear in front of me and I talk to them and their offspring. We have bonded.

Lately I have found the red silk geraniums in my front door clay pots overturned. This was a new phenomenon. Always a handywoman I purchased super glue gel and adhered the glue to the bottom of the 2-inch clay pots cementing the pots to the doorway floor.

Much to my surprise the following morning the pots were intact but the flowers disturbed. This called for future detective work but I shrugged it off and forgot about it. Senior moment.

On the third morning as I left I gazed down at the geranium pot and discovered a frog was sleeping in the silk geranium. The mystery was solved.

Ice Cubes in the Garden

The sprinkler system wasn’t working when I moved to this condo. This is a big concern in a Florida condo community. After much work on this 50-year-old babe she began to function within a week.

Sadly, Babe broke down again, but I have found another way to water. I no longer drag buckets of water to my plants, I ice them, and let the Florida sunshine do the rest. So, now when Babe gets testy and breaks down I happily remove my expansive ice tray from the freezer and ice the garden.

This makes the garden and me happy as it continues to grow.

Yoga and Card Playing Gibberish

After three years of health problems I was able to resume yoga again. The teacher is amazing and the ability to do a modified downward facing dog has filled me with joy.  All those Yogis out there will understand.  Namaste.

I was invited to lunch for the teacher after practice.  Grateful to be breaking in to Florida society I attended.  I watched everything I said and had a delightful time. Ordered the wrong dish but even though it tasted poorly told everyone it was “DELICIOUS!”  While there I was invited to cards the following week at the senior center.  Life was picking up.

Arriving at the senior center the following week I felt momentary terror.  Once again, I would have to give my name, where I was from and a short bio on what ailment caused me to retire so young.  For those unaware of senior life and having the good fortune of still working this is similar to the thirty second elevator speech used to capture an employer’s interest in an effort to acquire a job.

Inevitably once my speech is begun and I reveal I am a nurse my oration ends in 5 seconds and the other party begins to bemoan every health problem since birth.  Since I am a nurse and trained in empathetic techniques I listen and wonder why am I doing this as a freebie to acquire friends. Hence, I’ve pondered using different occupations perhaps Walmart greeter or tree surgeon?

Upon completion of this portion of the event we begin to discuss how to play cards with the extra person, that being “me.”  As this discussion proceeds I think, “Hello I am in the room,” but remain silent.  Decision completed, the ladies becomes tolerant of me in a friendly way and I concentrate on losing in an effort to avoid insulting anyone.

As I discuss my attempt at a clutter clearing business I am told how could I clear clutter when I splay my cards as I do.  Then there are other little comments and I realize I need to check my conversation style and listen rather than reveal.

Upon departure from the event I decide my tenure as a card player has ended however I will continue to enjoy my modified downward facing dog and seek another venue for my early retirement. Any ideas?  I’m game.  😊

Being Hacked

Several months ago, I returned from a grueling 13-day excursion to China.  The people were delightful and the food tasty except when the entire bus got sick from something toxic. Then there was the fact we didn’t see the sun for the entire time due to air pollution.  While one worries about respiratory ailments  I also wonder about Vitamin D deficiency causing rickets from lack of sun.  I feel for the health of the Chinese.

Once home as I sat exhausted in my gray recliner pondering my visit I received a call. It was from my bank and they wondered if I had purchased $1800 worth of Ruth Chris Steakhouse gift certificates, $100 of Chewy dog food and registered my car at the DMV in New York State.  Hello, I have no dog and now live in Florida!

While I was unsure if this was an actual true call the representative did seem to know I had registered my excursion to China on my card. I had told no one of this trip.  I quickly told her if she looked at my statements my spending habits revolve around the Dollar Tree, Aldi’s, Walmart’s, Belk’s on sale days, and Ross and Bealls on senior citizen discount day. She requested I cancel the card and I agreed to this immediately.

For the next 2 months, I was without a card but thankful that I had a backup.  I completed various required forms and kept a copy of all I sent.  It annoyed me that this occurred and caused so much havoc.

As I spoke with others I understand this is commonplace and even my gal pal at TD got hacked in St. Augustine with outside gas pump purchases.  To the dismay of my fellow customers I now only run my card inside for gas purchases.

This stuff is scary and one wonders where it will end and the type of scurvy person who would dabble in such riff raff.  It is an ugly and disgusting breach of trust and as I ponder what good can come from this I sign on to my computer.

Since I was breeched on my yahoo account every time I sign on I must have a text sent to my phone.  I know it annoys my fellow library patrons who wish to have silence but it comes with the territory.  Each time I chuckle as I receive my new sign on word.

This morning I received KLZU as the sign on word. As I contemplated the word I wondered if this was actually short for Klzumenito the Russian hacker who bought the Ruth Chris Steakhouse gift certificates on me? Then  I visualize salmonella sprinkled on his steak.  There is justice in the world.

Condo Life on a Florida Golf Course


I live in a condo on a Florida golf course.  While it may sound posh and it is lovely, it comes with problems, that being the golfers. My sliding glass doors overlook the greens however there are a dozen large trees between my condo and the actual course. How these men, (and I say men as I have never seen a woman here), get the ball so far off course baffles me.

Some mornings as I walk past my sliding glass doors in my nightie I literally see men almost in my flower beds in hot pursuit of golf balls.  I am not concerned with my appearance as I could walk naked in front of them and they would not notice me.  They are on a mission to find “the ball.”

Thoughts of inviting them in for coffee have crossed my mind, but I refrain as I often hear such things as, “Great job, Charlie,” with grunting laughter and back slapping.  Since I am not familiar with golf lingo I assume this means Charlie has really messed up and don’t want to embarrass Charlie any further so I refrain from the coffee invite.

Their search begins as they depart the golf cart, then an itching of the head occurs. The next move is what I call circling the wagons as they walk in circles around the cart thinking the ball will magically appear or perhaps even jump from the ground into their hand. Another thing which amazes me is the length of time spent in search of the ball.  I have seen golfers spend as much as 15 minutes in their search.

The final move in this search and rescue attempt is climbing through the trees. From there no underbrush is safe and even kicking the dirt is commonplace. The last endeavor always puzzles me as I wonder do golf balls go underground?

Perhaps my most favorite move in watching these avid golf warriors occurred when the search was getting past the 15-minute stage and the Florida heat taking a toll on the duo. They had decided to make one final attempt and in that had split the territory.  Alas, one screamed and the prize was found.  The back slapping and elated chatter continued as they mounted the golf cart and returned to the greens.

I chuckled as I replayed what I had seen.  One of duo had pulled a ball from his pocket, tossed it on the grass and claimed the ball as found.