As I write this only 30 days till I blast off to the Catskills, and my new abode. My daughter has visited twice, and neighbors have come by and introduced themselves. What a nice gesture. I believe that’s the way it should be?. I no longer know..

The folks who are to work on my cabin are already looking into quotes, and busily making plans to help with the renovation. Nice as I don’t have to wait for someone to run out of weed money before “they” come by to fix something. If only I had met Mike, my current handyman extraordinaire, when I arrived. What a gem he is.

Life would have been so much simpler.

And..final thought will I make a soft landing in the Catskills at 67? Will I have neighbors that like me?

Fingers are crossed.

No activity on selling the florida condo since my last offer, and then the offer rescinded. Perhaps the market is changing, and people are staying put? I wonder and consult the psychics for an answer. Am told the skies will open and someone will come along to purchase this florida abode so I can return to where I belong, the North.

It’s been a long 8 years trying to fit in in the south, and while I’ve done tail flips to accommodate folks here, I no longer try. I hibernate in the condo making sure there is no one out when I venture forth, or take a different path to avoid them. Sunglasses and hats help. They don’t like me, nor did they ever, and while we are all Americans I often wonder. How did we ever get through over 250 years?

For those who wish to try the same path as me, have a few words of advice:

• Rent
• Keep your home North for at least a year
• Check the voting patterns of those in the community you are interested in. Lie and say you voted for the rapist president.
• Quote Bible passages in your conversations, they like that.
• Go to the supermarkets, check out the clientele, listen to conversations. It is enlightening, and you’ll often hear those from the North say, “It’s different in the south.” Heed the warning.
• Learn to say “mame,” “you all,” “bless your heart,” and practice your drawl so they think you are native. Be insincere.
• Make sure you can tolerate the extreme heat, live through a hurricane or two, and several lightning storms before your transition, and make sure the dog or cat can as well.
• Buy a gun as they all have them, except me.

And if you do decide to take the plunge…. Good luck and may the stars be in alignment for you, as they sure as hell weren’t for me.

Oh, I forgot two, no three – don’t drink or swear, and if you are gay definitely stay away.